OMG this is really happening!

I have to admit I am a pessimist. I rarely ever see the glass as half full, and I am quick to assume the worst in most scenarios. I have been skeptical that I would even be able to have this surgery from the get-go, thinking that I will never receive this wonderful gift of surgery. But I have to admit that slowly, very slowly, I am starting to come around. I am starting to see the good in everything that happens, versus the bad. It has really changed my outlook on life. I feel more like the "old Amy" that I was when my hubby and I met - and I love it!

Well on Friday I went to my newly established PCP and he was delighted to hear about my WLS, which put me at ease, because my previous PCP was an asshole. He said he would be more than happy to write me a letter, but needed to get to know more about me first (which I liked) and ordered that I have my blood work done. He said that if I have high cholesterol then he can put it in my letter, along with my risk factors for developing diabetes, which I am assuming are pretty freaking high right now. When the appointment was over, I went to check out and make my follow up appointments for the lab work consultation and to get my letter. Well, I go tomorrow to get my blood drawn, but I have to wait until late June to get my letter and see what was in my labs. I have to admit, my old pessimistic ways started creeping back up and I was getting frustrated. I calmly explained to the receptionist that I was trying to coordinate a WLS into my schedule and if I could get in any earlier I would appreciate it, so she put me down for June 17th. Not great, but not bad either. I'll take it and be happy about it.

Not much happened over the weekend, just cleaned and watched movies (along with my exercising). Sunday night right when I was going to lay down for the night Ryan sliced a huge chunk of skin from his right index finger, up close to the nail. Having the husband that I have, I always keep a supply of first aid supplies on hand, because you just never know what he will do next. So I cleaned his wounds and gauzed him up (I have always been pretty good w/ medical and first aid) then tried to lay back down, but I had so much adrenaline from the rush of his injury that I just tossed and turned all night! I finally was able to go to bed around 2ish, only to wake up at 6:15. Ugh.

This week is a 4 day work week, then a 4 day weekend, and another 4 day work week, so YAY! That news gives me something to look forward to and keep pushing through, even though I am wore-smack-out. Also, I got a call today from a Karen at Memorial Hospital (where I am having my surgery) wanting to set up some appointments with me. I was in shock! I got through the phone call, but as soon as she hung up I felt like I could bounce off the freaking walls! OMG this is really happening! I am really moving along, completing my requirements like they are nothing. The feeling of accomplishment is so grand. I just love it.

I ended up setting up my psychiatric evaluation along with my nutritional class. My psych eval is on June 14th, and class is on June 15th. The class is a 1/2 day class from 8a-11a. I am so excited. I just can't wait!

Life Lessons 101: Follow-Through and PCP

Life lesson number 1: follow-through. If there is one thing I have learned during my short time as an adult and being responsible for my safety and well-being, it is to follow through. I cannot stress how important it is for anyone no matter the situation. Take my experience today, for example.

After 8 agonizing days of waiting to hear from the surgeon's office on what UHC says about my coverage and requirements for surgery, I decided to call them. I really was hoping they would call me because I didn't want to seem like a "pusher" but I broke down and gave them a ring. I'm so glad I did because of course they were needing information from me and hadn't called yet to get it. No telling when/if they had it on their schedule anyway!

I talked to Nurse Judy, Dr. Rutledge's main RN. She got my file and verified that they had contacted UHC for my requirements. They are:

• At least 1 co-morbidity
• BMI of 35+ w/ 2 co-morbidities or BMI of 40+
• 5 years medical history
• Letter of necessity

Pretty simple, right? WRONG! I have only been an adult for 5 years, and I NEVER go to a doctor, unless I'm dying, then its off to the ER. The only doctor I have seen since 2005 is my OBGYN, and that's only been once a year since 2005. IDK if it will suffice. If it doesn't I guess I am going to have to call the local hospital and get my ER records. My history is going to be so blotchy and pieced together the UHC people are going to laugh their asses off!

Life lesson number 2: establish a primary care physician early and visit them on a regular basis. I always thought, oh I'm not sick, I don't need a doctor. That statement couldn't be more wrong, as noted in my woes above.

Anyway, as I was following through with Judy about my requirements I asked her for the 3rd time about a pre-op diet. I received the same answer, which frustrates me, 'I'm not sure. It's usually standard practice for UHC patients to go on a diet, so I'm going to say 'yes.'" I explained to her for the 3rd time that I had already called UHC and specifically asked them and they told me 'no' but I wanted the doctors office (i.e. THEM) to verify it with UHC. Why is that so hard? Its a simple question with a simple answer. I'm starting to get worried that my current records will not work and that IF i do have to do this stupid diet, I need to get started on it because I am wasting time!!

I ended the call feeling more shaky and nervous than before I called. I guess I am just in the freak-out stage right now, because everything that happens seems to freak me out more and more. I'm going to quote one of my favorite characters, Donkey from Shrek, "I'm a donkey on the edge!!!" I think I need to just calm down and let things happen the way they are supposed to happen. I've been trying really hard not to get stressed out and anxious over everything. When I stress and have anxiety, my mouth turns into a bottomless pit. I start eating to distract myself. I have got to keep my chin up and be calm!

Just be kewl.

A bad weekend and 1st surgeon meeting

Wow, so what an eventful 5 or so days. Where do I begin...... well I'll start with the weekend. This weekend was HORRIBLE!!! I haven't been as sick as I was on Sunday in a a LOOOONG time. I was dizzy, nauseous, throwing up, freezing, burning up, headache, & couldn't swallow or hardly talk because my throat was hurting so bad. It was BRUTAL! I vomited until there was nothing left in me to vomit. It was violent.

All this could not come at a worse time, because Monday was my appt with the surgeon. I had planned on taking a 1/2 day at work then going to see him, but given my condition and how weak I was, I decided to forgo the whole day. At 12 I decided to go to the walk in clinic to get some antibiotics in me. I thought I was planning good because my appt with the surgeon was at 3:30, about 30 mins away. We were at the doctors office until 3, so I called to let them know I would be a few mins late. I didn't figure it would matter anyway right? Doctors are late for their appointments all the time. Well Miss Receptionist tells me if I'm not there by 3:45 then I need to call and reschedule. I was pissed off. Here I am sick as a DOG, trying to hurry and rush around, not having ate (and kept down) a complete meal since Saturday, and she's telling me I need to reschedule. Aw Hell No. I told her I would be there, and we took off. Thank God my husband is a seasoned Dirt Track race car driver or else we probably wouldn't have made it.

We get to the office at 3:35. Take that Miss Receptionist!!! Guess what? We end up waiting in the lobby until 4:30. I told you. Doctors are always late. I shouldn't have even called down there. I've learned my lesson for next time. When we are finally called back, I am nervous. Or maybe its the illness. IDK, but I'm not feeling good either way. I just want this to be over. He drops a bomb on me, that he thinks I should go with the Bypass, because of my BMI being 57. WTF, it was 54.9 a month ago. I have actually lost weight since I hadn't been eating. Whatever.

So he goes on to tell me about RNY. I never wanted the bypass, and I wasn't too hot about him suggesting it either. It was almost like he was trying to change my mind. When he saw that I wasn't changing my mind he told me about the Sleeve. Turns out he has done about 80 sleeves, and 800 RNYs. His leak rate is 1% and he has never had a death as a result of surgery. Those numbers made me feel a bit better, but I am concerned about the 80 sleeves. I know 1 of his sleeves, and she said she had "trouble," but wouldn't elaborate. I wouldn't put it past her to be jealous about sharing her WLS spotlight and trying to thwart me, so I'm taking her opinion with a grain of salt.


I left the office with a list of things to do and places to visit. I was told that I need to lose at least 20lbs by surgery date (which is TBA). He said he didn't care how I did it, he just needed some room in there to move around. He suggested a White Trash diet, which is basically if it is white and not a meat, throw it away. Pretty simple and easy to remember. Once I get feeling better I plan on starting it. The nurse is going to contact UHC and see what all my requirements are. She said I have to do a pre-op diet, as designated from UHC, but when I contacted them they told me I didn't. If I do end up having to, I believe my 6-8 month long appts with a dietitian will qualify me. The surgeon said that he isn't available until mid-June for a surgery date, so I know I wont be having anything done until probably around July. Which is fine. I can live with that.

I know that May is going to be very busy, as I have a lot of things to get done and a lot of doctors to see.

Preparing for Post-Op life

Yesterday I set out on a mission to find my Mom something for Mother's Day. I would like to point out that she is the worlds hardest person to buy for. I'm not exaggerating. I went to Bed, Bath, & Beyond and found two things she MAY like, but knowing her she will never use them. One was the "Shake Weight." It looks retarded but it just might be something she likes. She's always complaining about her arms being flabby. The other thing I found was a solar powered flower that you can put in a flower bed. I thought she may like it, but I'm not sure. I am also trying to help my brother find her something, because he sucks at giving gifts. Talk about pressure! Two gifts for a person who doesn't need anything!

So I went on to TJ Maxx, and ended up buying a present for my Dad for Fathers Day! So I can check that off the list. I didn't find anything at TJ Maxx for her either, but I DID get myself a little treat. For some reason I always seem to gravitate over to the baby section. When I was over there looking and wishing about the fetus I don't have, I found Gerber Graduates utensil and plate set for $5. It is so freakin' cute! I read on one of Obesity Help's forums that post-ops suggested a toddler plate and utensil set, to help my brain with portion sizes.



I am really excited about my cute little plate. When I was paying for it I was thinking how funny it would be if I told the guy that the plate was for me. I'm sure I would have gotten a funny look from him & he think I'm some kind of freak. LOL!

Changed the name of my blog

So, I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to change the name of my blog from 'Underneath It All' to "To Be Fat Like Me."

Im sorta random like that.