Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Appointment Shuffling

So yesterday when I got home from work I had a message on my answering machine from Dr. Rutledge's office saying they needed to cancel my appointment, and reschedule. WHAT?! I was so sad because I just KNEW I was going to have to wait twice as long now. Heck, my initial appointment wait period was 31 days from the day of the seminar. So I moped all night last night, with a feeling of lead in my stomach.

This morning I anxiously waited until 9am to call the office and reschedule, hoping the sooner I call the sooner they can get me in. Turns out my new appointment is 3 days earlier than the previous one! YAY! So my new date is 5/10.

On a side note, Ryan and I finally planted the 3 lilac trees I bought (spontaneously) the other day. I hope the dogs don't pee on them and kill them. I need to get some stakes to tie them up, that way when it storms or we have "Windsdays" they wont blow over and break off. I'm so excited that we are finally able to make our place more like home!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Dreams and Reality

A couple of interesting things happened this weekend. I had a crazy-ass dream about WLS, and I told my BFF (we've been friends for 19yrs) about my decision.

First off I want to talk about my dream, while it is still fresh in my mind. Basically it was 5/13, the day of my appt with the doctor. The hubby and I went to his office, where I changed into one of those annoying hospital gowns. The doc wanted to see my stomach, but I am self-conscious and didn't want to show him my "fat rolls." He said "Relax, I will be seeing much more of you in a few hours." My husband, being a comedian said, "Funny, that's what I said to her the first time I met her." LOL he is so funny, even in my dreams. Anyway, he takes my blood and other things, then looks at my chart and is like, "Ok, you are clear for surgery. You ready to be sliced open?" and I was like "Whaaaa?" but went along with it.

He gives us directions to the hospital (like I didn't know where it was) and tells us to meet him there in 15 mins. The whole way there I was freaking out, because I hadn't even told my parents about my desire to have surgery, much less that I was fixing to have it. We get to the hospital and wait out in the parking lot for the doctor and nurse for like 1/2 an hr. Then we went into the lobby, where the receptionist told us we were too late, and that he had already taken another patient to surgery. She said we had to wait til he was finished with them. So we waited like an hour, when I decided to call my parents and let them know. They rushed to the hospital, and were so happy for me. Shortly after they got there, I was taken back for surgery.

A few hours after surgery, I was released. I was feeling GOOD! I didn't want any pain medicine, and I was walking around like normal and acting like nothing happened. We left the hospital and went straight to a birthday party. I became very paranoid because I wasn't supposed to be eating any solids, but I couldn't pass up cake, everyone would know something was up. So I ate cake, just a little bite. Later on, I started having horrible pain in my stomach, and I was wishing I had taken the pills. Apparently I was squirming so much in my sleep that I actually woke myself up. When I woke up, I laid there looking at the ceiling like, WTF just happened?!

Ok, back to reality. Sunday afternoon I invited my BFF, Amber, to the local Mexican restaurant, determined that the dream was a sign that I didn't need to keep this inside, but to express my desires with my close friends/family. I started off the conversation very casual, talking about the wonderful cheese dip. As I drew nearer to my lines, my hands began to get sweaty and I felt like I was going to crap everywhere (TMI, I know). I had rehearsed this 20 times in my head on the way to the restaurant, but I just couldn't form the words. Finally, I took a deep breath and just said it. "I’m going to have my stomach stapled." She just looked at me, mouth gaped, with a chip halfway in salsa, and said, "What?!? Why?!?!" (keep in mind she has the body of a model. 5'8, slim, dark skinned, long brown hair) I told her my reasons and she seemed to understand. She knows about my struggle with weight, and how I get depressed every time we go shopping, scratch that, SHE goes shopping while I watch her purse. I told her afterwards she was going to have to hold my purse while I shopped, or we could leave our purses in the car! LOL

A pic of me and Amber in 1st grade:

Best Friends really are forever.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Lets Begin, Shall We?

So today I decided to start a blog. Not just any blog, but one that will chronicle my life, as I am about to make some drastic changes to it. But before we get to that, how about some background information?

By glancing around, you have probably figured out that my name is Amy, and I am in my 20's. Good job! I grew up in a small community in East Tennessee, out in the country. I have never in my life lived in the city, and never plan to. (unless one day my future children move me into a nursing home; then I will have no choice) I have one younger brother, Andy.

I now live about 30 minutes south of where I grew up, with my husband (Ryan) and two dogs (Buster and Hershey). I have been married since October 2006. Has it been tough? Hell yes. Have I wanted to give up? Hell yes. Do I regret marrying him? Absolutely not. I love him with all my heart and I cannot wait until we can grow old together. We constantly talk about starting a family (apart from Buster and Hershey) and have so many plans for our future.

Buster, being Groovy


Ah, the future. That my friends, is why I started this blog. See, I am overweight; overweight to the point of it affecting my relationships as well as the plans for our future. I want to get out and do things, I want to be a mommy, I want to live past 50. Unfortunately, I have been overweight pretty much my whole life. I remember being in the 5Th grade and wearing a women's size 12/14. I have been made fun of, passed over for dances/prom, left out of shopping trips, judged, AND I AM TIRED OF IT! I am ready to be the Amy I have always wanted to be. So, I have decided to have weight loss surgery.

Weight loss surgery is my only ticket to a "normal" life. I have tried multiple diets (hell, I have even been hypnotized) and nothing works long term. I ALWAYS gain it back. I know there are some skeptics out there about WLS, but ya know what? I don't give a flyin' flip. I have researched this through and through and I know what is best for me. I have talked to people who have had surgery, and I see that sparkle in their eyes, and I can't help but want it. Maybe it is selfish for me to go cutting and messing with my body to alter my appearance, but its more than that. I need to alter my appearance so I can truly enjoy and prolong my life.

I have chosen to have the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy procedure. It seems to be the best one for me. I have thought about the Lap Band as well. I know two people who have had WLS, one had Lap Band and the other had the VSG. I have talked to them both, and compared Pros & Cons, which led me to my choice. I have also discussed my options and chance of success with each surgery (Band, RNY, VSG, DS) which also helped me to decide.

As you can see, my blog will be mostly about my journey with WLS. Not to say I won't throw in some personal drama here and there!