Monday, October 25, 2010

More 2 Month Pictures & Bucket List Experience

I know I've already posted a 2 month update, but I hadn't taken any "body shots" to show my progress. Well fret no more my friends! Below are my two month pictures. I am currently -54lbs and finally starting to be able to tell it.

I also accomplished something off my bucket list this weekend! We went to Dollywood and I was able to ride a roller coaster!!! It was so much fun. I was in heaven! It was a pretty tight fit, but I fit, and that is all that matters! I can't wait to go back in a few months for their Christmas celebration and ride them again!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Down 50lbs! (2 Month Update)

I weighed in this morning at 281.8! I am officially minus 50lbs (25 since surgery)!!! Granted I will probably gain back the .2lb sometime during the day, but it was nice to know that I am here!

I have to say, I am a little disappointed because I thought my weight loss would be faster. I guess everyone loses different and I shouldn't worry about keeping up with everyone else. When I take away the 20lbs that I lost before surgery, my total is only 30lbs lost, which doesn't seem like much when you take into account that I had surgery on 8/18. So 2 months and only 30lbs down...

Anyway, I'm trying to stay positive about all this, and I have been working out more and trying not to snack. Next Thursday is my and Ryan's 4 year anniversary and we have a cabin booked up in the mountains for the weekend. I am really excited about that because I haven't had a vacation (excluding time off for my surgery) since June 2008!

I also want to give a shout-out "Happy Anniversary" to my girl Libby and her hubby. They got married the same day as me and Ryan. Happy Anniversary you guys!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Hunger Rears Its Ugly Head

Ramblings from my mind:

So I am 7 weeks out today, and I feel like I'm taking a step backwards. I'm not sure what is going on in my brain, but it isn't good. My brain is constantly saying "I'm hungry, I'm hungry." and I know it's physically impossible for me to be hungry 1-2 hrs after a meal. I find that I am snacking (sometimes on bad things) in between meals, and as a result my weight loss has slowed considerably. If I try to ignore it, it is like someone SCREAMING in my ear that I am hungry. I cannot focus on anything else, whether it be at work, or at home.

For example, last night I went with a friend to the Mexican restaurant. I ended up eating too fast and had to purge up my food. Well, about an hour later we were shopping, and no matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking about my leftovers in the car. My friend would be talking to me, but I would be standing there thinking about how I wish she would hurry up so I can go home and eat. What did I do when I got home? Ended up eating about 2oz of my leftovers.

I also haven't been exercising as much as I need to. I have been fast-pace walking on the treadmill for 20-25mins 4 times a week. I usually don't exercise on Friday, Saturday, or Sundays. I know I need to increase my time/days but I'm finding it hard to do with my schedule.

I feel like I am failing myself as well as everyone who has supported this decision. I am down to 285lbs now, and want to lose 100 more AT LEAST. I'm not going to lose 50 more with what I've been doing lately. I feel really saddened and angry at myself, and its further affecting my weight loss. I know stress isn't good for the body or the mind, and I feel like everything in my life right now is spiraling out of control.