First off I want to talk about my dream, while it is still fresh in my mind. Basically it was 5/13, the day of my appt with the doctor. The hubby and I went to his office, where I changed into one of those annoying hospital gowns. The doc wanted to see my stomach, but I am self-conscious and didn't want to show him my "fat rolls." He said "Relax, I will be seeing much more of you in a few hours." My husband, being a comedian said, "Funny, that's what I said to her the first time I met her." LOL he is so funny, even in my dreams. Anyway, he takes my blood and other things, then looks at my chart and is like, "Ok, you are clear for surgery. You ready to be sliced open?" and I was like "Whaaaa?" but went along with it.
He gives us directions to the hospital (like I didn't know where it was) and tells us to meet him there in 15 mins. The whole way there I was freaking out, because I hadn't even told my parents about my desire to have surgery, much less that I was fixing to have it. We get to the hospital and wait out in the parking lot for the doctor and nurse for like 1/2 an hr. Then we went into the lobby, where the receptionist told us we were too late, and that he had already taken another patient to surgery. She said we had to wait til he was finished with them. So we waited like an hour, when I decided to call my parents and let them know. They rushed to the hospital, and were so happy for me. Shortly after they got there, I was taken back for surgery.
A few hours after surgery, I was released. I was feeling GOOD! I didn't want any pain medicine, and I was walking around like normal and acting like nothing happened. We left the hospital and went straight to a birthday party. I became very paranoid because I wasn't supposed to be eating any solids, but I couldn't pass up cake, everyone would know something was up. So I ate cake, just a little bite. Later on, I started having horrible pain in my stomach, and I was wishing I had taken the pills. Apparently I was squirming so much in my sleep that I actually woke myself up. When I woke up, I laid there looking at the ceiling like, WTF just happened?!
Ok, back to reality. Sunday afternoon I invited my BFF, Amber, to the local Mexican restaurant, determined that the dream was a sign that I didn't need to keep this inside, but to express my desires with my close friends/family. I started off the conversation very casual, talking about the wonderful cheese dip. As I drew nearer to my lines, my hands began to get sweaty and I felt like I was going to crap everywhere (TMI, I know). I had rehearsed this 20 times in my head on the way to the restaurant, but I just couldn't form the words. Finally, I took a deep breath and just said it. "I’m going to have my stomach stapled." She just looked at me, mouth gaped, with a chip halfway in salsa, and said, "What?!? Why?!?!" (keep in mind she has the body of a model. 5'8, slim, dark skinned, long brown hair) I told her my reasons and she seemed to understand. She knows about my struggle with weight, and how I get depressed every time we go shopping, scratch that, SHE goes shopping while I watch her purse. I told her afterwards she was going to have to hold my purse while I shopped, or we could leave our purses in the car! LOL
A pic of me and Amber in 1st grade:
Best Friends really are forever.
1 comments:
Congrats on telling your friend! I have only told one friend so far. I think in away it is really hard to tell our friends because we value their opinions above all others. It gets easier to tell people after you said it outloud.
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