9 month update

Hey all! It's been a while, I know!!! Shame on me! I've just been so busy!!! I have done more stuff these past few months than I have done in 3 years, and it feels GREAT! I've been going to the river and cooking out with friends, going to a PUBLIC pool, and cheering for my brother-in-law every weekend at the races. (he races a Late Model dirt track car)

I also have gotten back into riding horses, which I have desperately wanted to do for a while now, but always felt I was too big. I almost cried the first time I got back on one, and I have attached a pic of me. Forgive the helmet, hubby made me wear one "in case I fell off". I swear, that man is going to be an awesome daddy some day....

Anyway, on to my stats. I have lost 85lbs. I currently weigh 248, and I am almost 9 months out. It's not exactly where I wanted to be by now, but hey, I'll take it! I was almost 100lbs heavier this time 2 years ago, so that alone is an accomplishment. I do contribute my slower weight loss to not exercising like I should and not being strict about what I eat. I have gotten better, and went back to grilled chicken and salads for supper. I have also started eating tomatoes, which I am very proud of!!! I have been growing Ryan tomatoes for a couple of years now, and thought I ought to try what I have worked so hard to grow.. and I surprisingly liked it.

My momma said one day I would grow up and not be so picky, and ya know... I think she was right! (imagine that)


Me and Ryan - Easter 2011





First time in 7 years on a horse!!!

7 Things for my 7th Month Update

So, it is now my 7th month, so I decided to do a "7 things" about me. So, I'm still at 252, haven't lost any weight this month, but I was kinda expecting that anyway. I am going to have to start working out more often and get back to basics if I want this to continue to work for me. This month was more about just getting out and enjoying my life! I found a 4 leaf clover last weekend, so I hope that is a sign that good things are coming my way!

So, I stumbled on this on Facebook and thought what the heck, I'll bite.

7 things I have to do before I die:
* See the Grand Canyon
* Fly on an airplane
* Go to a concert
* See Niagara Falls
* Weigh less than 200lbs
* Go on a cruise
* Live life with no regrets

7 things I say all the time:
* Yay!
* I know, right
* whatevz
* Im not even gonna lie
* Oh Em Gee
* why don’t we chug on over to namby-pamby land, ya jackwagon!
* shut up

7 things I'm good at:
* riding a fourwheeler
* doing my nails
* fixing computers
* reading
* researching
* arts and crafts
* shooting hoops

7 flaws:
* Stubborn
* Procrastinator
* Too hard on myself
* Indecisive
* Anti- Social at times
* Hot-headed
* jump to conclusions


7 qualities:
* Great sense of humor
* Generous/giving
* Love easily
* Laid-back
* Stern but loving
* Supportive
* Family oriented

6 Month Update (long)

Hi everyone! Can you believe that it has been 6 months since I had surgery?!?! I looked forward to this day since the day of my surgery, so it seems surreal that it is already here. Well, I am doing fantastic, as expected. I am so happy and thankful that I was able to have WLS to better myself. This update is going to be a bit long, since I plan on giving a full-length update on how the last 6 months have been.

Well, I'm sure you guys want to know how I'm doing in terms of weight loss. I have lost 80lbs and am now weighing in at 252! That is just UNREAL to me! I am almost in the 240s! I haven't been in the 240s since the summer of 2005. I only have 55-60 more lbs to go until I'm at my personal goal (anything under 200lbs) so that is really exciting. I know I'm going to have to work harder the next 6 months to make that goal, as I can tell my weight loss is already slowing down and I am able to eat more.

Now, lets talk about the struggles I've been through in the past 6 months (that way I can end on a happy/high note with the positives!) I guess the biggest struggle I've faced is not knowing when to stop eating. I overeat all the time, and I honestly don't mean to. IDK why I do it, it's not like it feels good; quite the opposite actually. You don't know it until about 5 minutes after you finish eating, but boy you realize it QUICK! I get this pain in my throat and it honestly feels like the food is just clogged up in my esophagus. It HURTS. The quickest way to "ease the pain" is to purge it back up. I know that is a horrible habit to get into, and I really don't do it often, but I have had to do it a few times. And it's always at restaurants. I think it's because the food is just right there in front of me and my head it saying "EAT IT!!!" and blocking out what signals my tummy is sending it. At home I just measure out my portion on my plate, and when it's gone that is all I eat.

I also had a relapse after the holidays. I got back into drinking Coca-cola and eating those Valentine's Heart Shaped Little Debbies. They were SO GOOD and reminded me of a time before surgery. I felt comfortable, I felt safe while eating the snack cakes. They would just slide right through me; I could eat a whole cake at a time, and I would. I ate one every night for about a month (well, until Valentines was over and they stopped making them). But I realize now what I was doing to myself. I stepped on the scale, after not weighing for a couple of weeks, and I hadn't lost a singe pound. It was then that I realized that I need to conquer this problem and get back on track. I started exercising and cut out the snacks, and dropped from 256 to 252 within a week.

Now, on to the positives! I am finally starting to see my collar bones a little bit! I had forgot I even had them, lol. I am also feeling much better about my appearance, although I realize my skin isn't planning on going anywhere or shrinking back up, so that is a little depressing. But then again the hubby doesn't mind, so why should I care what everyone else thinks? Speaking of the hubby, he is awesome. He has been here right beside me, helping me along the way. He doesn't try to control my decisions or tell me what I should be doing, how I should be eating. He supports me no matter what, and I do the same for him. Our relationship is just blossoming and I feel more connected to him now than I ever did before. We had a rough patch back in 2007-2008 and we really became distant, but this surgery has brought us back together and that is probably the best thing that has happened.

I am also able to do so many more things now. I don't get tired as easily, I can sit Indian-style in the car, on the sofa, and I can curl up in the recliner and not feel like I'm being mushed into a sardine can. I have more room to move around in the shower (its a single person walk-in type) and I can give myself pedicures! You should see my toes right now. They are Robin Egg blue with pink spots on them! This weekend I'm planning on Water Marbling my nails. It's this really cool process using nail polish and water. If I end up doing it and it turns out decent, I'll blog about it. This lady does really cool tutorials, if you are interested. http://mysimplelittlepleasures.blogspot.com/

Well, I guess that is about it for now. I'm sorry, I don't have any pictures yet. I'll try to take some tonight and upload them on a new post tomorrow. I promise I will defiantly have some up by this weekend!!!

Happy 2011!

Hi everyone! I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope that your 2011 is wonderful!!!

My last post was a debate about whether or not I should cut my hair off to help with "shedding." I decided to just go for it. It's only hair; it will grow back eventually. I ended up cutting about 6 inches off, and I LOVE IT!!!

I also hosted my first ever New Years Eve party this past weekend and it was so much fun. I invited my brother-in-law and his girlfriend over as well as my brother. Us two girls made some munchies and Margaritas then we played Just Dance for the Wii until midnight. It was a blast!

New Hair & Me and the Hubs on New Year's Eve

Hair today... gone tomorrow?

Ok, so this post is all about hair, or the lack of it! I have been losing my hair like crazy this past month. It is actually driving me mad. Every time I pull another loose hair off my shirt, or every time I clean out my hairbrush, or clean the shower drain (which is every time I take a shower) I get a little more depressed. At first it was maybe 5 strands a week.. now its more like 10 strands a DAY! At this rate I am going to be bald by New Years!

I've seriously considered cutting my hair, to try to help. It is getting SO THIN, and it was already fine/thin to begin with. When I wear my hair straight, I have no volume. It just forms to my head. The only issues I have with cutting my hair is 1.) I really dont want to and 2.) IDK if it will help. I have only had short hair once in my entire life. I cut it off back in 2008 to donate to Locks Of Love, and I have been growing it out since then. I did love my hair when it was short. It was a nice change. I'm just afraid I wont have the same results as I did with it then, since it is thinning now.

Here are some pictures of me, back when I had my short hair and how horrible it looked over Christmas. I just hope I can make a decision before I lose all my hair!!!

4 Month Update

Hi all!

I hope everyone is having a Happy December!!! I know I sure have been (knock on wood!) On Saturday I will be 4 months post-op, and I honestly have to say, I am the happiest I have been in a LONG time! I feel so much better, I feel as though I look better, I know I've done wonders for my health, I have such a positive outlook on life. This surgery has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. If anyone out there is on the fence about surgery, DO IT!!!! Life is too short to waste another day being unhappy or unhealthy. Granted, I have a long way to go before I am at goal, but getting there is so much fun!

Now for some statistics... I am 16 weeks post op, and minus 70lbs. That's right folks, I am weighing in at 262!!! I am halfway to my goal weight of 190lbs. Honestly I will be happy with anything under 200. I hope to lose the other 70lbs over the next 8 months (I know WL will slow down) and when I get down to 190 & 1 year post-op I plan on making babies! lol

Here are some pictures from this weekend's trip to Dollywood & a profile shot of me last week. I am in the black jacket, which, I'd like to add, is a men's XL. :-D

3 Month Update

Hi Y'all!

Month 3 has been pretty good to me. I am weighing in at 267, so I am -64lbs and feeling GREAT! At 265.5 I will officially be 1/2 way to my goal weight of 190!!! That is so exciting! I'm wearing size 22 pants and 2x tops comfortably. All my old clothes are starting to hang off me. In fact, I've boxed up most of them and got them ready to yard sale this spring.

Last Friday I went to the movies to see Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows: Part 1, and I actually fit in the seats comfortably! It was a little snug since I was sitting by my friend who is the same weight/build I am. It was a world of difference from the last movie I went and saw, which was sometime in the summer when I was at my heaviest. At the movies I snuck in my own water bottle (they charge $4 for a 20oz Dasani!) and bought a small popcorn, thinking I would probably be able to eat most of it. NOPE!!! I actually ate so little of it, I couldn't successfully "roll up" the bag to keep it from spilling over when I sat it on the ground! Normally I would have polished off a large popcorn and coke AFTER stopping for some dinner. I hadn't even ate supper before HP7, and needless to say I didn't after either! Another miraculous thing happened: when the movie was over, I threw away the uneaten popcorn. Before VSG I would have took it home (if there had been any left) and ate the stale leftovers.

So to sum up, in month 3 my mind is starting to catch up with my body. I feel like I am getting more "in tune" with my Sleeve, and interpreting its signals better.

Hope everyone has a Happy Turkey Day!!! Good luck to all those celebrating their 1st Thanksgiving with WLS (myself included)!

More 2 Month Pictures & Bucket List Experience

I know I've already posted a 2 month update, but I hadn't taken any "body shots" to show my progress. Well fret no more my friends! Below are my two month pictures. I am currently -54lbs and finally starting to be able to tell it.





I also accomplished something off my bucket list this weekend! We went to Dollywood and I was able to ride a roller coaster!!! It was so much fun. I was in heaven! It was a pretty tight fit, but I fit, and that is all that matters! I can't wait to go back in a few months for their Christmas celebration and ride them again!

Down 50lbs! (2 Month Update)

I weighed in this morning at 281.8! I am officially minus 50lbs (25 since surgery)!!! Granted I will probably gain back the .2lb sometime during the day, but it was nice to know that I am here!

I have to say, I am a little disappointed because I thought my weight loss would be faster. I guess everyone loses different and I shouldn't worry about keeping up with everyone else. When I take away the 20lbs that I lost before surgery, my total is only 30lbs lost, which doesn't seem like much when you take into account that I had surgery on 8/18. So 2 months and only 30lbs down...

Anyway, I'm trying to stay positive about all this, and I have been working out more and trying not to snack. Next Thursday is my and Ryan's 4 year anniversary and we have a cabin booked up in the mountains for the weekend. I am really excited about that because I haven't had a vacation (excluding time off for my surgery) since June 2008!

I also want to give a shout-out "Happy Anniversary" to my girl Libby and her hubby. They got married the same day as me and Ryan. Happy Anniversary you guys!

Hunger Rears Its Ugly Head

Ramblings from my mind:

So I am 7 weeks out today, and I feel like I'm taking a step backwards. I'm not sure what is going on in my brain, but it isn't good. My brain is constantly saying "I'm hungry, I'm hungry." and I know it's physically impossible for me to be hungry 1-2 hrs after a meal. I find that I am snacking (sometimes on bad things) in between meals, and as a result my weight loss has slowed considerably. If I try to ignore it, it is like someone SCREAMING in my ear that I am hungry. I cannot focus on anything else, whether it be at work, or at home.

For example, last night I went with a friend to the Mexican restaurant. I ended up eating too fast and had to purge up my food. Well, about an hour later we were shopping, and no matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking about my leftovers in the car. My friend would be talking to me, but I would be standing there thinking about how I wish she would hurry up so I can go home and eat. What did I do when I got home? Ended up eating about 2oz of my leftovers.

I also haven't been exercising as much as I need to. I have been fast-pace walking on the treadmill for 20-25mins 4 times a week. I usually don't exercise on Friday, Saturday, or Sundays. I know I need to increase my time/days but I'm finding it hard to do with my schedule.

I feel like I am failing myself as well as everyone who has supported this decision. I am down to 285lbs now, and want to lose 100 more AT LEAST. I'm not going to lose 50 more with what I've been doing lately. I feel really saddened and angry at myself, and its further affecting my weight loss. I know stress isn't good for the body or the mind, and I feel like everything in my life right now is spiraling out of control.

1 Month Update

It seems unreal, but this past Saturday (9/18) was my one month surgiversary. In some ways it feels like I just had the surgery, but in others it feels like I'm 2 or 3 months out.

I'm going to keep this short and simple. I forgot to measure myself before surgery, so I have just decided not to keep up with inches.

Starting Weight - 332

Weight the day of surgery - 312

Current Weight - 288

Total Weight Loss = 44lbs

Pretty impressive huh? In all reality I have lost 24lbs since surgery, but I worked my ass off for those other 20 too, so dammit I'm counting them!

So, depending on how you want to look at this update, I have lost 24lbs in one month OR I have lost 44lbs in two months.